mindfreak

my big sis from taiwan is probably right about one thing about me…i have a weird mind.

to be able to contemplate death and afterlife at such a young age when i could be sleeping from a good day, like after a good movie of toy story, or a nice dinner with curry chicken or curry fish head. instead, time before and cutting into actual bedtime was used to wonder why things couldn’t be the way they were.

at least, now im mature enough in thinking to understand why, just irritated that i can’t have the best of both worlds.

just about a few hrs ago, i read a book. and that book has helped me and also challenged my thinking.

i wonder if i’ll be like my mother and her when i’m near their age. ‘realistic’ and just wanting to settle down with a life companion and starting a family, possibly, w/o really much energy or interest in finding out about afterlife.

i’d like to add the words, ‘if there is one’, but then i really wouldn’t be proclaiming my faith now, would i? i’d be conflicting myself. best of both worlds.

Cleaning the house instead of sleeping

unfortunately, i don’t have the luxury of time to clean myself.

i do have to make the time to clean up for my brother as he is coming back from his confinement in his company. i need to see him prove his 8 conan pullups. i also miss him, even though its not always the way i expect to see him.

cleaning gets boring and depressing to most, and its not my passion, to be honest. but i like it having to be necessitated so that you can once again enjoy walking back into a clean room. i can’t be like a hospital, but i can make it my clean space.

if i didn’t have to share the space once again with my brother i doubt i would’ve cleaned the house thoroughly, who else do i need to do it for?

of course, mum’s room is pretty clean. at least i don’t have to see her rub her foot against the back of the calf to scrape of bits of dust and hair. -.-

i do (weirdly) like to clean up after my brother, at least he knows he will need me and vice versa

hope to hear more from him when he returns, i don’t really hear sharing from anyone i’d like to hear from these days…

…then again, it can’t be helped if he doesn’t. he must be tired from his restricted lifestyle.

*case closed & filed away till further notice*

last month

one more month.

tuition (one of them) will end after this week, on a good note, much better than that of the other one.

work will end first wk june.

i’ll miss the lifestyle v much, but i’ll miss my original lifestyle even more