deja vu is flawed

Cleaning up

I’m happy to have cleaned up much of some messes in my life, the most glaringly obvious being the two rooms in the house, now that a third is now going to be messed up by someone else…

Hopefully that will give clarity of mind to both me and my younger brother; to him, for his upcoming A levels. To me, a cleaner environment to rest in.

I will leave it to the higher powers to decide how my mental, social, spiritual and utopian issues should be decided, since both sides of the issues don’t think they should back off.

that reminds me. ORD locker cleaning in hopefully…10 wks.

lies.

i remember someone wonder out loud as to whether things will be the same after school. after IB, when we all go different ways and do NS, then go to Uni, possibly get hitched and have a family.

we’re barely finished with phase 1 and already i think things are different already.

u need to prove me wrong, mister.

3 more months

to decide loads of things.
who
where
what
why
when

‘how’ is not the most pressing thing on my mind.

i miss some ppl (mum came back from china), irritated with some ppl (an early teen, literally), love some ppl.

i should stop being so ‘right’ sometimes.

winey

highly likely however just taken as the normal uenza. kept and antined at home for 1 week…we’ll see how it goes…

damage control

seems like some ppl who i’ve been in contact with just don’t know how they seem until they’ve grown up themselves..

i just discovered that i may have been that mean in some ways, but definitely not that outwardly defiant.

still, i guess i can w8 till they’re of that age before i go to them myself and tell them, i told u so.

I want him to be more than just someone who only does damage control when it is too late. I really do, because I can be everything needed.

hmm.

i got accepted in some places, but my mum’d think that it’s best to go to places near home and not so far away…

what do u think?

world gone wrong

in all fits of anger and desperation, one cries to the hospital for help and another pleads to the savior for solace.

Fuck off.

shocker

i’m 19+ and living the life of and old guy, the body of a soon to be 30, and the mentality of a 10 yr old.

at least, that’s what i think it is.

im shocked by many many things; some things just are not meant to be there to shock me.

today was one.

idiosyncrasies (hope i spelt that right)

heard a compliment like a raw diamond, yet feel that the peak of mentality has been reached.

loving someone so much, but getting both annoyed and gratified at times when getting back at this one. occasionally regretting it *twang*

attempting to save money for better things and spending it on cooler things.

aiming to exercise while binging with irregular meal cycles (sounds like a recent satirical comic strip on the Straits Times)

seeing these double standards and just justifying them, saying this is different, that happens for a reason.

ergh.

hopefully i can feel better…not.

i’ll need to go quarrel with my walking reflection for help.